I miss my kids. Thats the plan & simple truth! Cassey is so far away but we talk daily. Brittany may as well be overseas with Cass cause I don't get to see her either. But we also talk daily. My girls are such a blessing to me. They are so level headed and responsible. The Lord truly blessed me with them. They always think of me and no matter how busy they are they take the time to call even for just a quick Hello. For this I am Thankful.

Shane....I have this ache still way down deep. I assume I will always have it. Most days are ok even though the ache is always there. Then some days it's so strong it's almost physical. Ashtyn was talking this morning about his co*cart Shane had gotten for him and he said "Gammy, do you remember when my Daddy was alive"( then on with his story). It's sad that children so young have to deal with death.

I'm looking forward to the end of March because I'm gonna go see Britt & Meguell. The in July I think Cassey, Nate & Noah will be in Texas for a couple of weeks. So I'm looking forward to seeing everyone in the coming weeks and months. I guess I'm going through a little empty nest here. But it will pass. So girls if you read this do NOT worry about me. I am fine! I'm just having a moment, but it will pass.

Now on the up side. Noah is 11mths old today! Unbelievable! Where as the time gone. In another month he is going to be 1 ! Wow! he is such a smart litle guy. A bright & shining star thats for sure. Oh and by the way, Shane's 3 kids are doing fine. Growing up so much. They really seem to be doing good. So basically everyone is ok. And for this I am thankful!

2011

I can't believe it's already close to the end of Febuary 2011. Where does the time go? i know it's been a long time since I have written. The 1 yr anniversary of losing SHane has come & gone. It was terrible to be honest. Truman W Smith put on a memorial for their workers and Shane's family. It was heart wretching, almost like losing him all over again, but then it was good to, good to know they still think of him and miss him. They truly loved him as he did them he really loved his job there. Im going to try to write on here more but it will be mainly for me. Not private, anyone who knows about my blog can read it but Im not going to post it right now cause I want it for me.

Today is probably not the best day to write here because I feel kind of down. I feel alone and I don't know why. The 3 kids are here. Greg is here but I feel alone....Probably hormones or something. I miss my kids. I still feel such a lose of Shane. He was always just right around the corner, but not anymore. I miss my girls, it feels like forever since Ive seen them, they make me laugh so much! But it will pass. Like I said it's just hormones or just a fleeting feeling. I think it's a normal feeling for a Mother who has lost a child or even one who hasn't but her children are far away. I do not at all resent that they are far away. Both of my girls have made a good life for themselves. They have great husbands, both of them & now Cass has Noah. I truly am blessed by them and by my 3 GRANDchildren who at this moment are in there watching Shrek. They are amazing children.

So I will get off for now and next time I will be more positive.