Wednesday, December 1, 2010

December 1

Well here it is, Dec1,2010. Where does time go? How can it possibly be that I have not talked to my Son in almost a year? I have not hugged him & told him I love you in almost a year. Thankfully we always hugged & said those 3 words, most importantly meant them! My heart is breaking, it's been a yo~yo of emotions all year , but these last few days have been so up & down. Though I try to stop it's like my heart is on a countdown. This time last year, this week last year and so on.
I talked to a Mother today that lost her Son 14 yrs ago. I remember when he died. I ask her when do do feel normal again? She told me, you don't it never goes away. So I guess it's something you learn to live with. How? I don't know. I guess day by day, just as we have managed for the last year.
When you look around you see there are many people walking around with their hearts hurting for one reason or another. So sad actually. We have much to be Thankful for. I know I do. But where is the happiness? I look forward to the day when I can be happy. I have a great husband, wonderful girls, totally awesome Grandchildren and a good family. But when will the cloud leave?