Saturday, July 9, 2011

Time Has Passed

July 2011

Well a lot of time has gone by since the last time I wrote on here. A lot has happened in the last several months, changes in all of us, changes in our family. Things have gone on in our family that if you had told me a year and a half would happen I would never have believed it. We are still trying to come to terms, the girls and I with the fact that Shane is not here. Yes the pain is bearable though at times it still sneaks up and literally punches me in the stomach. But it still doesn't seem right that he is gone. I still struggle with using the statement "Shane died". I usually say he's gone, or when we lost him. It's funny how I didn't really realize that Shane was the peacemaker in our family. I'm talking about the whole family, not the girls & I. Anyone that knows him, it probably makes you chuckle when you think of him as the "peacemaker" because normally the way he went about making peace was usually anything but peaceful. Lol, what can I say, we have always been a loud family. My heart aches because of the things that have gone on I know that Shane & Daddy would be sick if they knew. You know Cassey, Britt and I were talking about how they would feel if they looked down and saw all of this going on, about how they would feel. But when we are in Heaven, do we really look down at our loved ones, see the pain they are in, how they are hurting? Heaven is perfect so I wonder how can they look down and see our imperfections and still be blissfully happy?
Both of my girls are amazing! They both have really good husbands, Cass has Noah to. They are along with their husbands making a good life for themselves and I can not say enough how proud I am of them. They have totally different lives but good lives! I love you girls very much!
I really think I named this blog just right because every time I write I always feel like I'm rambling on and on. Thats one reason I haven't been writing as much because of that.