September 3

Today is Sept 3rd. It's been 9 mths now since life as we knew was changed forever. It's still so hard. The kids are still missing him and thinking of him. Ashtyn or Addi will say something out of the blue. Especially Ashtyn and he remembers so vividly. its amazing really. It's so sad to me that they tell people "My Daddy died". But they say it and it's the truth so......

I took Shane some new fall color flowers yesterday and removed some of the other faded flowers, it's so sad. I used to take him toilet paper or paper towels and maybe help him pick up around his house. But now I'm taking him flowers to the cemetery and picking up little bits and pieces of stuff around his grave. It's not fair! I know life's not fair but with so many bad people running around why my son? I know he was not without fault, ha! We all know he made some bad choices in his life but for his kids he settled down worked and took care of them loved them so completely, it just doesn't make since, but it never will so here we go, Life we keep on and make the best of it and try to live it for him, if he can't be here then we will carry on. Take care of his kids, love them and love the life we have, even if the smile is sometimes just a fraud..... but sometimes they are genuine.....