My First Half Marathon

                                                   My First Half Marathon

I'm sorry I wrote this back in March and forgot to post it. 

 I can’t believe it, I just completed my first half marathon! At Disney World in Florida

no less! I’m 51 yrs old and because of my girls ~ aka, Naturally Fit Sisters, who are

My inspiration, my best friends. But let me back up a little.

 All my life I have always said I am not a runner. I have never been athletic. Always

as long as I remember. I’ve been big breasted and that was always my reason for not

running. I have always admired people who were diligent and disciplined enough to

                              work out and eat healthy. I have always wanted to be “That Person”. In 2007  I think it was, I joined Weight Watchers because I was sick of having such a big gut, the tire That is my most weak area and to this day still is. WW’s has changed my Life. It has taught me about healthy choices, portion control. I’ve learned to eat more

fruits and vegetable’s and to really like my veggie’s.                                                            So we will speed up to close to

the end of the 2010 year. They were building a Anytime Fitness in our town. I told

husband I would like to join. I kept talking about in so when they opened in Feb2011

we did join. Its so convenient for me because its right across the street from where I

work so I go before work. I really enjoy my time there. I have feet problems and 3

disc bulges in my back so with the exercise’s I try to be really careful of my back. But

I have since found that the working out has seemed to strengthen my back.

So sometime in 2011, my Weight Watchers leader had a 5K walk, she had one the

2 years before and it didn’t interest me AT ALL, then the next year, I was mildly

interested, then last year I really wanted to do it, so I asked a really good friend of

mine who isn’t in WW’s to do it with me and she did. I walked the whole thing, but it

struck something inside of me. I really don’t know why because Cassey my oldest daughter had ran several different ones and I wasn’t interested, then Brittany, my youngest started getting into it and even then I wasn’t. But somewhere along the way, I guess since both of them were so involved with healthy lifestyle choices. I wanted to. I have sometimes wondered, when I’ve thought about this to myself if it didn’t have something to do with the life changing event in Dec 2009, and that’s another story in itself, but My oldest son, the girls brother died in a 1 car accident. He wasn’t buckled up. Our lives changed forever that day. My husband and I took an active part in helping with his 3 children. Life as we knew it changed, in that split second you hear people talk about. Then two years later another, milestone in my life I was fixing to turn FIFTY!! So I think in my mind that with all the events in my life that happened that I had no control over and no way of changing, I realized I could control my lifestyle. I can control if I workout or not.

 My daughter Brittany started talking about her, her husband and some friends doing the Mudslinger Mud Run in Sept 2012, it sounded like fun, and Cassey had already ran one in California, so I told Brittany I would like to do this. She signed me up, I started training some for it at the gym trying to run more which was a whole new world for me. The weekend I went to Abilene, I took my 3 grandkids that lived near me with me and the morning we went to the run there were kids attending it and my 6 yr old (at the time) grandson wanted to run it with us so we signed him up and off we went. We were dirty, tired and, happy!! It was so much FUN!!

 Then comes Oct 2012, the girls and I signed up, 5K for myself and for them a half in Ft Worth. We had a great weekend, I remember when I was running I kept thinking,

Why did I think I could run this. I’ve never been a runner so why did I think I could do it now. I was so tired, and just before the finish line there was   a big hill to go up, for me it was a large mountain!! I got to the top and the mantra in my head was “I’ve got to run across that finish line” over and over, and I did to! I was happy and tired. But I did it.                                                                                                                                                     Then before my birthday in Dec 2012, my girls gave me my birthday/Christmas gift and it was the Disney Princess Half. And I asked them what made them think I could do it. All I can say is that they have so much more confidence in me than I do. But I started training for it. I was scared though because I couldn’t run past 5 miles and I only did it three times at the gym. But I felt that at least I could run/walk it if my pregnant daughter could.

 So fast forward and it’s that time, we are there with over 25,000 runners. It was amazing, I was scared to death and excited! You could feel the excitement in the air. They let each corral go at a time, which probably had 3,000 or more runners go at a time. Then its our turn. And I think I’m crazy! What ever made me think I could do this?” I look around me and I see mainly ladies, but men also. All shapes, sizes and ages. I see so many runners and I think, I can’t do this, you know we all have these doubts I guess, but I do not have a lot of confidence in the things that I do and sometimes in large crowds like that all my fears come to the fore front, all the doubt. And its funny how even when so much is going on around you that our minds can wonder off on its own. Its saying are you sure you want to do this? Your not like them. Your not graceful. But I can try. And deep inside I realize I want to do this. When I was growing up, I was never encouraged to try new things or go out of my comfort zone. I was never told that I was good at one thing or you can do this (this is not meant as a slam of my parents, it was just a different time back then) But my girls always tell me I can do it or at least try. And at one point when its me & Brittany running side by side, she is, as she always is so encouraging, so positive. And even when Cassey is struggling with her 8month pregnant self, she finds the way to tell me your doing a good job Mom! And then just when I was thinking “am I crazy, the little courageous girl comes out of me somewhere I guess deep inside and I realize I am doing this. There was even a little time where I was running by myself. Now I’m not a graceful runner. I’m not a pretty runner.  And after passing a couple of different girls, who had makeup on and not a red spot on their face and I believe I even said out loud “how can they run with their makeup in place” and it looked like they were going shopping, they didn’t seem red or sweaty and they seem to barely puff a breath but they were running. That’s not me, I’m huffing and puffing. My face is red and I’m sweating. But then I finally realize I am a runner! In my own way, not anyone else’s but mine. I’m running a 13.1 mile run. Me, who has never been a runner. But I was doing it! It went faster than I thought it would. The last mile felt longer than the other 12 miles did. My legs worn stiff when we were through but it was temporary. I after we went across the finish line together I was so proud!! I had feelings I didn’t even know how to process, but now I know it was pride, not a boastful kind but just proud that I stuck with it and completed!! I said I was going to get that medal if I had to crawl over the finish line and I’m happy to report I didn’t crawl ! We ran across!

Oh I almost forgot to mention in April I’m doing the 5k Color Run in Dallas with my daughter Brittany and my two grandsons and Cassey will be there to cheer us on. Then the following weekend  I will be going to Shreveport for a 5 K Mud Run with some of my friends I’ve made at the gym, its going to be great!

 By the way, if your wondering about my husband that I spoke of. He’s not into running or anything like that and he has to work a lot but he dos give me a lot of moral support. He bought me for my birthday a real nice Under Armour long sleeve and Capri leggings set and new running shoes. Among other things. He always leave me nice little notes to root me on. He doesn’t complain of my runs, so even though its not something he is interested in, he doesn’t try to keep me from enjoying myself.

 One last thing, I have a new mantra in my head now, from a sign I saw at Disney, it said… “One day I may not be able to, but today I Can!! I love this and need to find a small poster of this. I hope maybe someone reads this and may find some inspiration to know that your not to old to try something new, even when you have aches and pains or a bad back such as I do. Or whatever the problem may be, I truly believe that being active helps it. No my pains haven’t gone away but I honestly believe that getting up and moving around more will help ease the pain, even if its for a little while, you don’t have to start running because I will be the first to tell you that it’s not for everyone. I don’t know if I will ever do another half, which is 13.1 miles if you didn’t know. But at least I know I did one and made it. But just get up and walk around outside. Any activity is better than none. This I really believe. And make small changes every day. Drink more water than you usually do. Have a serving of a vegetables instead of ice cream for dessert have a fruit and yogurt. Little changes add up.  Then before you know it you will notice a difference. Or you may find that something you didn’t like before , you may like now.

One Day I May Not Be Able to But Today I Can!!

Make a healthy Choice Daily!

Merry Snowy Christmas

 Well Christmas 2012 is now behind. All the hustle and bustle. Such hectic times for a few weeks. Though it shouldn't be hectic and frustrating it is. We are supposed to be calm and Thankful for the birth of Jesus, he who came to save us. To give us everlasting life. And as we all say, Christmas has gotten to "commercialized". I for one, as many others in the retail industry see people at their absolute worst on "Black Friday" or as some us say "Blue Thursday", people become angry, impatient threatening even just for "Stuff", "Things". And will any of it matter the day Christmas, most of it no. What really matters is the sparkling eyes of the little ones. This is what Christmas is all about the kids. I wanted a really nice picture of our Grandkids, but kids being kids....Not gonna happen. We had all of our Gkids this year for Christmas and I wanted a picture of them all. I envisioned a really nice group picture of all of them but come on, in reality, this is the true family shot. haha! Cudo's to the professional photographers who take pictures of children.

 So all of the gkids had a really great Christmas, and thats what its all about. Its for the kids. Of course first they must be taught the true meaning of Christmas. Even the "Bigs Kids" enjoyed it. They love their stockings. A few years ago when our oldest daughter & her husband who are in the Air Force, were stationed in Japan. And all my kids were grown I told them I was going to stop doing stockings they were like "NO" Mom we look forward to them. So needless to say I still do them. And its good because this year we had a couple of people that came with family to share Christmas with us, so I just stuffed stocking for them. I believe we had 11 in all this year.
 And then if the Lord had not blessed us enough with having the girls and all the gkids home for Christmas this year he gave us a WHITE CHRISTMAS!! I'm 51 yrs old and I have never had a white Christmas. It was so exciting!
 So how was your Christmas? Here at the Wexler household we were truly blessed.  We couldn't ask for more. Well one thing we could but its not anything we could get, our Angel in Heaven, Shane. I know somewhere he saw us and saw that his children are happy, healthy & taken care of.

We are blessed.....

Well I DId It

October 21, 2012

I ran a 5K, now this isn't my first but to me its like the first real one. I ran a 5k mud Run with my youngest daughter, oh and with my son*n*law and their friends and also my 6 yr old grandson. And my first 5K I walked with a friend this last summer. But the one I ran in Oct, really seemed real to me I guess because I ram more of it than I walked. Ive been trying to train more so I can get the running down and be more comfortable with running. Ive always said all my life "I'm not a runner" but you know what, I think I am now. it's a good feeling to try and live a healthier life style. Healthier & fun I might add. I guess it started in 07 the very first time a good friend of mine started going to Weight Watchers and Ive been going ever since. Now I have to admit I'm not as religions about it as I was at first but its in me for sure with the tracking and so on. Anyway back to running. I like it. It feels good to know that even though I'm 50, Uh*um almost 51 yrs old, that I can still do things that are totally out of my normal.

 And speaking of out of my normal. I am now training to run my first half!! That's right 13.1 mile. Not sure how that will go but all I can do is try right? My girls, who by the way are my idols & inspiration took it upon themselves to sign my up to run "The Princess" at Disney in Florida in February 2013. They gave it to me for my Birthday/Christmas present so how can I say no right? Lol anyway that's what I'm doing to live healthier, what about you?

Running?

 Is 50 to old to start running? Haha this is a funny question coming from ME! Ive always said "I'm not a runner". Ive always been heavy chested so therefore, no running. But my way of thinking is changing. My whole way of living has changed in the last yr & half .
 Let me start by saying this. I have always, always admired people who had enough drive & self discipline to be physically fit. To make them selves get up early and go to the gym. To make them self workout even though they are tired and want to stay in bed. My husband gets up very early for work. 4:00 am. I would get up get ready, do a load of laundry then get on FaceBook catch up with people and play Farmville, haha. Anyway when I found out they were opening a Anytime Fitness in our town I kept thinking, I could go to the gym instead of playing on the computer. So when they opened in early 2010, I joined have have been going since March 2010. I have seen changes in my body which Im happy with though I still have more work to go, but I enjoy it. Ive been a Weight Watcher member since 2007. I lost 30lbs then and though I have played (not purposely) with a few pounds here & there, I have managed to keep most of it off. But as I got older and neared the 50 mark I noticed the flabby skin, the second wave under my arm those things that most of us don't like. Well my Weight Watchers leader Amanda put on a 5K, this being the 3rd yr. I wasn't interested at all the first year. Last year I was a little interested but didn't pursue it. When they were talking about it I was very interested. So I ask my dear friend Brenda if she would walk with me and she did. I did not run, but walked & I truly enjoyed it. I think I enjoyed doing something different, I enjoyed being around people. It was fun. Now anyone who knows me know my girls, Cassey  & Brittany are healthy minded. Cassey is the runner in the family and now Brittany is training and doing very well. So maybe that is why Im interested also. Cassey gave me a website www.fromcouchto5k.com, so I've been reading it. I really wish I had someone near me to train with someone who would help me & yes push me when I feel like I can't do it. I truly with my husband would get active with me, but thats his choice. And he doesn't have the desire. So I'm going to try to follow their how to plan and start training. Just a little. I do have disc bulges in my back so it will have to be slow so that I will know if for sure if I can do this. But then the doubts keep coming in. Your 50, you can not do this, you are to old.
 So back to the question is 50 to old to start running?

                                                  Another June......


    Well its here, June. Another of the dreaded months. I'm looking forward to this weekend because Im taking Shane's kiddos to Abilene to see Aunt Britt & Uncle Gell as they call him. But the bad thing is this weekend is Father's Day another one he is missing out on. I will have to take them to the cemetery for them to be able to say "Happy Fathers Day Daddy" UGH! Even after 2 1/2yrs I still hate this. I know its not going to change but oh I so wish. Then on the 30th my one & only Son would have been and should have been 32. I suppose I will take them again up there so they can release balloons for their Daddy. June used to be a happy month, I had my first born in the month of June. But now I can only think of the should haves. And the not fairs!
   The one good thing in June is on the 2nd. Greg & I had our 5th wedding anniversary though we've been together 12 yrs total. Mostly good years though the last 2 1/2 have been life changing.
   So once again I will pull myself up, put on the smile, (where the hell is that thing?) And just keep on going. Loving the ones I do have here. Reminding myself to be thankful. Bla Bla Bla.
No its ok, its just a mood. Its dark and everything is worse on the dark.
   Heres to a better tomorrow.......

Happy

                                         


 Well I have just returned after an amazing week in California. I so throughly enjoyed the week with Nate, Cassey & Noah. I got home yesterday after all this fun I had and my wonderful husband had cleaned the house, washed sheets & cooked dinner for me. 
 This morning we got up had breakfast then got on our motorcycle and went for a nice & relaxing ride. As a passenger on a bike all you can do is think and look at Gods beauty around you which I did.  When I realized what all I was thinking about I thought well this will make a good blog because I haven't written one in a while. So here I go, hopefully its as good on here as it was in my head.
 Dec 3, 2009 this day changed me & my family forever. This is the day Shane died. This is the day that marked my world forever. I will never be the same person I was before this day. Losing him totally changed us and the way we live. Its something I know I will never get over. But you have to pull yourself out of the murky waters of grief and keep going on.... Since this time we have had some things go on in our family that also has changed the way my family carries on. But you know life is all about change, sometimes good, sometimes not so much. But we all have to find a new normal in our life. Friends come and friends go, family comes and family goes. There is nothing we can say or do to change that. We just have to carry on.
  My girls, what can I say other that I stand in awe of them both. They are both amazing woman with good husbands and I truly admire them both so much for the lives they live. They both love the Lord and serve Him, though in different ways. Cass through her work and love of her child, and the other children that she keeps in her home. Teaching them. Britt through her Mission work and her work with young people at her job at the college.
 Then I was thinking of the life that Greg & I have. its a good life, though its somewhat different than it was before we lost Shane. We've made a lot of adjustments in our life. It hasn't always been easy but we are making our way through. I was thinking how I wanted a room addition on our house. As I have before I wonder if we will ever get to? This I do not know, but then I was also thinking how we are never satisfied with what we have. I want more room, then I have a friend who would like less room. So we are always wanting what we don't have, right? So I told the Lord, you know whatever I get or don't get thats ok. Whatever is meant to be will happen. I know I have to be happy with my life as it is today. Then I realized, I am Happy. I may not always be happy with a current situation or with something that may go on. But I am happy. If others don't like the choices I've made or some decisions I've made, so be it.I have to do what is best for me and my family . We can't always make others happy. But I'm happy. I may never get any more room, but I'm Happy. We live a good modest life, and yes there are always things we want and may not get but we are happy. Im healthy, have a great husband, wonderful kids. Amazing Grandkids I adore. I have really good and close friends that I know will be there for me with only a phone call. And some family we are close to. So, can I ask for more than that. Yes I can but I shouldn't .
 So all I can say is I'm Happy.....

December 3

December 3, the dreaded date that we hate. Its here and nothing can change it. Nothing can stop all the thoughts. So many what if's. What if he had not gotten his new Tahoe, then he would have all ready been home cause he was catching rides. What if he had buckled up as I had told him over & over. What if he had came home to stay right after work and not stayed over to work on the mural at Truman. What if, what if, what if!!!!!!! Nothing will ever change the cold hard truth. Shane, my Son, my first born. Shane, Cassey & Brittany's big brother. Their protector, their one to look up to, their one to worry about, especially Cassey, you know her she always worried about him. And yes their terrorizer! He was that he was their "Big Brother" and thats what brothers do, aggravate their little sisters . Shane, Chloe', Ashtyn & Addi's Daddy, he is gone.......

Lord knows this has been a hard 2 yrs. So many changes so many adjustments. We've had to learn to go forward even when we didn't want to. You hear all the time life goes on & it does even when you wish it didn't. My mind keeps saying this time 2 yrs ago I didn't know that by later in the night how our life was going to change. And since then our lives have continued to change. Britt has married, Nate & Cassey have had Noah, the kids are getting older. Me & Greg are getting older lol but we just keep going. Thats all we can do. Love each other.

You look around and listen and realize there are so many people walking around in pain and grief, so many walking around with a smile that is not exactly real, more like painted on to make it through whatever is going on in their lives. Just say a prayer for them. And say a prayer for me, Greg, the girls Shanes kids our family. We are all going through this together even though we may not all be here together. Their is a place in our hearts that will be forever empty because we have lost him, that will never be filled. We just have to hold on to what we've got.....each other